Saturday, October 29, 2011

On the Last Day of Asexual Awareness Week

Today marks the final day of the first ever Asexual Awareness Week.  I would like to leave those that have kept up with the blog a few final observations:

  • There are few (if any) out-asexual characters in popular media
  • Only two states recognize asexuality as a protected class (meaning they are protected under anti-discrimination laws): Vermont and New York
  • Asexuals still feel an enormous amount of pressure to perform sexually for their partners, either out of obligation or to prove to themselves that they are "normal", suggesting that the only valid intimate relationship is a sexual one
  • The majority of people still see asexuality as a disorder and use the argument of what is natural/biological and what is not
  • Our culture equates sex with happiness and no sex with gloominess, misery, and dysfunction
As I hope to have shown through my posts, asexuality is not a disorder but simply another sexual orientation and therefore another state of being.  There is nothing wrong with you if you identify as asexual.

The goal of asexuals (particularly the AVENites) is visibility and education.  Asexuals simply want to be included in the dialogue and accepted as they are.  If you wish to help, here are a few things that you can do:

  • Help open up the dialogue around asexuality.  Talk with your friends, loved one, and campus groups about the lack of resources for students that might identify as asexual.
  • Educate people about the difficulties and issues faced by asexuals
  • If you hear someone use the term "asexual" in a detrimental way, call them out.  Chances are they just don't realize how damaging misuse of the term can be to the asexual community
  • If someone you know is asexual, be open and understanding.  Let them know about this blog and some of the resources under "Useful Links"
Perhaps the most important thing to take from asexual awareness week is that even though sexual orientation is not a choice, sex is.  Nobody should ever feel pressured or obligated to engage in sexual activity if they do not want to.  I find it incredibly disturbing to read about asexuals that feel they have to satisfy their partner(s) sexually because it is "right" or "normal" to do.  There are some asexuals out there that do find pleasure in pleasing their partner(s), but not all asexuals do.  Sex should always be a choice, not an obligation.

I probably will no longer regularly update the blog, but I will post if/when I find more materials on asexuality that I feel are important.  While this blog might not be far reaching, if I have reached just one identifying-asexual and made them feel less alone, I feel that I have succeeded.

Thank you so much for your interest and time.

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